


2019

by moon_custafer



Series: The Bureaucracy of the Otherworld Was Surprisingly Generous When It Came to Transportation [7]
Category: Dr. Mabuse (Movies), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Norse Religion & Lore
Genre: Amazing they never ran into each other earlier really, Gen, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-02 20:43:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19449184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_custafer/pseuds/moon_custafer
Summary: If Lohmann had had more time to think about it, he would probably have guessed anyway that the big black automobile careening towards them was on the same plane of existence as the Benz.





	2019

If Lohmann had had more time to think about it, he would probably have guessed anyway that the big black automobile careening towards them was on the same plane of existence as the Benz; few mortals would drive a pre-War vehicle with such abandon, and none could do so while simultaneously keeping it as pristine as if it had just rolled off the assembly line.

As sometimes happened, however, the conclusive final piece of evidence came before he could finish toting up the smaller clues. In this case, it came in the form of a smash-up between the two otherworldly vehicles, one that nearly sent Lohmann headlong through the Benz’s windscreen.

The Inspector heard Skuld swear in a language that wasn’t human enough to translate; he suspected it was the tongue of ravens and crows. When he’d collected himself enough to look around, he saw the driver of the other vehicle struggling to disentangle his enormous black wings from the side door, but the curses he was muttering were, by contrast, made up of sibilants. On the passenger side, a tousled blond head leaned out with a somewhat bewildered expression:

“Oh dear,” said the head’s owner.

Lohmann was still sufficiently dazed that the location and retrieval of his hat seemed, at the moment, to be the thing of paramount importance. All other decisions and observations could wait. He dropped under the dashboard in search of it, and so missed the moment when the driver of the other auto folded his wings, slithered out the side window, and resumed something like human shape so he could stomp angrily over to the Benz.

“Where the Heaven,” he hissed at Skuld, “did you learn to drive?!”

“Speak for yourself. I could have avoided you if _you_ hadn’t signaled one way and turned the other.”

Suspecting this argument would not end anytime soon, though he was confident his partner would win it, if only by sheer stamina—Lohmann got out of the car, walked a few paces, and got out his cigar case. He was taking out his matches when the blond passenger from the other car approached. Lohmann grunted a not unfriendly acknowledgement; he had no quarrel with any passengers who might have been involved in the crack-up. He supposed he ought to ask the man if he was alright, but then, it wasn’t as though any of them could suffer physical harm. In any case, “man” might not be the correct term:

“You’re an angel, aren’t you?” Lohmann asked.

“Yes,” replied the angel, smoothing a wrinkle out of his white suit. He gave the Inspector a curious look: “You’re…not.”

“No. Different Department.” There was a pause. “Your friend there is a demon?” Lohmann continued.

The angel sighed and threw an unmistakably fond glance at the black-clad figure who was still exchanging baleful glares with Skuld.

“Yes,” he admitted.

“How’s that work? He an informer or something? Undercover?”

“No, he’s just… well, the dear boy’s not as fallen as he claims to be.” Lohmann ducked his head and smiled down at the pavement. “We’ve known each other a _very_ long time,” the angel added, a touch defensively.

The Inspector nodded.

“Smoke? If you’re allowed to, that is.”

The angel took the cigar he offered, though Lohmann was pretty sure it changed to a more luxurious brand as it passed between their hands. He would have been annoyed, except that at the same time the flavour of the one he was smoking changed subtly, and when he took it out of his mouth he saw the label on the band now read HABANA.

Lohmann still thought it was damned cheeky of the angel, but he couldn’t complain. He grinned at his companion to let him know he was onto the trick. The angel smiled back with great innocent eyes and just enough slyness to be likeable.

“Your demon pal’s still a terrible driver, though.”

“Oh, no argument there. He once drove the Bentley while it was _on fire_. Through a _rain of fish_.”

“That doesn’t sound like it was the fault of his driving, though.”

“Well no—but I’m pretty sure there’s something in the Highway Code that forbids driving while on fire.”

The fragrant smoke curled above their heads.

“Did the fire at least grill the fish?” Lohmann finally asked.

He really couldn’t think of anything else to say.


End file.
